Infographic feedback on directing attention toward a thesis


Peer feedback on my written proposal helped me cut down on the unnecessary background information in my introduction. I was spending so much time on details that I didn’t leave room to develop and present a thesis. I also didn’t explicitly state that my thesis would deal with race, rather I left it heavily implied. After getting feedback, I took out significant sections of my introduction, re-organized the presentation of my argument, and re-wrote my conclusion to frame how I will be addressing race in my RBA.

In my in-class presentation, I received feedback on how to more explicitly present the racial aspects of my research topic. In the center portion of the bottom section, I previously had a long paragraph about specific rhetorical choices and the national-level sovereign citizen movement. I was told that this seemed unrelated to the earlier sections of my infographic and was also quite wordy, making it unlikely that a viewer would read and engage with that specific section. In viewing the infographic, people felt that side-by-side comparisons of images and facts made the most powerful points when it came to directing attention toward an argument.

My research focuses on understanding the history of the land on which the Malheur and Standing Rock movements took/are taking place. I will examine how each group specifically engaged with race in their rhetoric and how that affected their message. I will also present the reactions taken by law enforcement, local citizens, and the media, with a focus on the intersection of land use and ownership history and race. I believe that current race relations in these situations are inextricably connected to the history of the land and that activist groups use intentional presentations of history to further their messages.

2 thoughts on “Infographic feedback on directing attention toward a thesis”

  1. First, I’d like to say that I really like the layout of your infographic. It’s informative and well-organized – good job incorporating the feedback from viewers in class.

    Furthermore, your thesis sounds fairly developed. Race and history have definitely been issues in the past when it comes to exploitation of the Native American population, so it will be interesting to see how you frame a similar engagement with race in the case of the Malheur militia protestors.

    Lastly, I have one topic that you may or may not want to consider in your analysis: legality. The laws surrounding the sovereignty of the Native American tribes within the borders of the United States can be nuanced and complex. It’s up to you whether you want to consider any legal precedents or interesting angles when it comes to protests on Native American land. Could be interesting!


  2. First, I’d like to say that I really enjoyed reading and editing your paper. I think you have a really unique topic, and I believe that the incorporation of race as a frame of comparison between the treatment of the protestors could be very powerful. I think your infographic, in addition to being well laid-out, did a good job conveying that you hope to pivot in this direction for your RBA.

    I would exercise caution though. The literature and history on Natives and land use is quite dense and vast. You outline a number of avenues by which you hope to use race for comparison, but perhaps you may want to narrow it down even further to just either rhetoric or reactions (in case it is too much for one paper).


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